Posts tagged with "DNC speech"

What to Expect From Obama's DNC Speech


Laughing out loud! I’m totally awfully bored and thankfully there are people who take time to post awesomely funny stuff on the Internet!

So yeah, what do we have to expect from Obama’s DNC speech, intentionally pretending that it hasn’t yet happened.

- Good stuff about Barack Obama

- Bad stuff about Mitt Romney

- Some true stuff

- Some not as true stuff

- Stuff about health care

- Stuff about Michelle

- Just stuff

- Shots of old ladies smiling and clapping

- Shots of old ladies crying and wiping away tears

- Shots of old ladies burning effigies of Paul Ryan

- Personal anecdotes of struggle

- “Four more years” chants

- People screaming, shouting, throwing things

- People collapsing in the aisles and speaking in tongues

- B-Rock beaming those pearly whites

- Michelle, Sasha, and Malia looking on proudly

- Bill Clinton already at the afterparty

- Mass hypnosis for national optimism

- Obama addressing Clint Eastwood in an empty rascal scooter

- Jay-Z rappelling down from the ceiling and ending the convention in a rousing, profanity-ridden rendition of “99 Problems,” joined by Joe Biden running onstage in a cop costume to rap the “Son, do you know what I’m stoppin’ you for?” part and then breakdance, as Barack smiles and claps along and medics rush out elderly delegates


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